Author: wvfurandroot
Susan
I’ve lost three best friends now. Three people that I told my deepest, darkest secrets. Three people that loved me warts and all. Three people that had my back. Three people that would tell me the truth when I desperately needed to hear it. Nobody should have to lose three best friends: one to a motorcycle accident, one to breast cancer and one to complications of Crohn’s Disease.
I haven’t cried yet. I know it’s coming. And it will be a storm. But not yet. I haven’t had time. Lord, I’m going to miss her. This best friend was 22 years in the making. I’m going to miss her.
Photos and Memories
Deck at Beech Fork
I dumped the camera memory today and stumbled across this photo. It’s of the deck that Susan and I looked at, stood on , sat on, walked across and contemplated that last day together at the Beech Fork cabin. It was our last real conversation and it was real. We talked of all manner of things not the least of which was our friendship and how the years have treated us.
I will miss her. This photo seems poignant to me, but I don’t quite know why.
Meditation
Meditation Space
I have meditated on and off for years. A few months ago, I decided to get serious about it but life intervened and it got shuffled to the wayside. My psyche hurts a great deal these days and i decided it was time to dust off the zafu and begin again.
Zafu
Zafu is a meditation cushion that I use to sit on the floor with. There’s nothing magical about sitting on the floor, but I like being at the same height as the coffee table which is where I have all the accoutrements of my meditation practice – candle, Tibetan singing bowl and hourglass.
The hour glass is actually 15 minutes which is all I can manage right now. I feel virtuous if I do 15 minutes and downght self-righteous if I turn it over and do 30 minutes.
The meditation space is beautiful. I worked to make it so. Beauty is an important value to me. There is beauty in fine fabrics, symmetry, black sand falling through delicate glass.
Meditation will be good for me. I can feel myself coming back to myself already.
