Grilled Cheese

We’ve had a wet and cold spring.
I have been just as gloomy and gray.
My world is mud and wet dog smell.

The sky gives no bright light— offering
only the chilling rain—now goading
termites and demanding the creeks flood.

I am restless, but inert.
Swaddled in a down comforter—
The dachshund nestled against me.

The older dog prefers
the cool floor next to my bed.
Both will follow me if I get up.

Their tales wag and they
lift their heads when they
feel my gaze on them.

The dachshund rolls over
exposing her most
vulnerable self to me.

Her love is deep and true.
I give her belly rubs and
she writhes with pleasure.

The older dog,
more polite, stands and puts
both her paws on the bed.

She is waiting her turn but
staying close lest I forget
her. I don’t. I wouldn’t.

We are now all awake
at midnight on a Thursday.
I am hungry. They always are.
I listen to feet and paws
make the old wood floor sing
in the creaky voice of an old woman.

The cat joins our parade.
The three of them jockey for
position around me.

Bent over, I peer into
the refrigerator, looking
for something easy and warm.

Something comforting.
There is cheese. There is bread.
There is butter.

It is the kind of cheese
most people reject
as inferior and uncouth.

It’s my favorite for grilled cheese.
I use equally maligned bread.
But the butter is Irish.

It tastes of emerald grass and
sunny meadows.
Yellow like daffodils.

The old cast iron pan will
hold two sandwiches—three
slices of cheese each is required.

Dog tails thump on the
faux stone of the kitchen
floor. They know that smell.

The old dog tries to put her
paws on the edge of the stove
to see and smell better.

“Phoebe. No,” I say. A soft whisper
as if we might wake someone.
The older dog sits, her tail thumps.

When the sandwiches are done—golden
brown, melted cheese dripping—
the nutty smell of browned butter,

I lift them with the red spatula—
the small one that looks like
a child’s toy—and lay one per napkin.

I cut them diagonally.
The forehead-kiss triangles
oozing cheese.

Two for me and one
for each dog who are both
done eating before I even sit.

Two sets of brown pleading puppy
eyes stare up at me from the floor.
The yearning summons Oliver Twist.

Please, Ma’am, may I have some more.
“No,” I say. I eat both halves.
Yet they still love me.

The gloom and gray are smaller
now. I know the rain will end
and the sun will lighten us.

Leo

Photo by billow926 on Unsplash

Leo had been a precocious child. 

Walking and talking at 10 months. He graduated with his first Bachelor of Science in Biochemistry at 16.  By 24 he was a tenure track Ph.D. at Stanford with his own administrative assistant.

He was miserable.

It was the poetry of the basic cell that charmed him.  How it quivered in the agar agar and devoured the sucrose.  How it cringed when the refrigerator malfunctioned and almost died.  He could see the small thing shiver,

The cell had likes and desires.  It had dislikes and burdens. So did Leo.

He read Byron. He called all of his cells she for they possessed all of them the ability to divide and become two. To reproduce.

He’d recite She Walks in Beauty when pipetting some new solution into the  dish.

He said “Give me your good side, Sweetheart,” when he slipped them between a slide and admired their nakedness.

His mother had wanted all this for him, but Leo had always and only wanted to drive trains through the Rockies. 

He tried to make the best of it.  He did love his cells. But he wanted to hang his head out the window of the caboose and howl as the train descended 200 feet into a valley.

He was 30 when he called the Chessie system. 

31 when they quit laughing and took him serious 

 He was 33 and 2 days old when he landed a job on the railroad.

He hadn’t told his mother.  Her dad had been a railroad man with a different family in every depot. 

She would keen and cover her still glossy Greek curls with a shawl and call the priest. But perhaps some vocations are genetic. His cells cried out for railroad tracks through the pristine mountains. For the howl.

Stanford was her dream, not his.

He tucked Lord Byron into his lunchbox that morning.  He would tell his mom at the end of his shift.

A Tiny True Tale

Metacognition: Thinking About Thinking

Those who know about such things say that in any relationship there is one up and one down in terms of power over or who has the upper hand.  In a healthy relationship, this will alternate.  I don’t think this is true in the relationship with ourselves.

I once pondered metacognition – the thinking about thinking.  You know how you’re standing at the kitchen doing dishes, and you say to yourself, “Today I have to buy coffee, mail that package, text Cindy, and return that awful blouse”? And then later you get home and realize you forgot to buy coffee, so as you drive to the Dollar General you say, “You are so stupid, how could you forget coffee!”

Ok?  Who is the I?  And who is the You in these conversations we have in our head?  I submit the one saying “you are” is Jung’s Shadow Self, and I don’t think it’s ever good to let the Shadow be the upper cognition.  Or not good to let our Shadow have power-over for too long.  The Shadow is useful for pointing out our foibles and identifying what we need to work on, but giving that asshole upper reign for too long guarantees a miserable person.

Marie-Louise von Franz, a close associate of Jung, said:

[If and when] an individual makes an attempt to see his shadow, he becomes aware of (and often ashamed of) those qualities and impulses he denies in himself but can plainly see in others – such things as egotism, mental laziness, and sloppiness; unreal fantasies, schemes, and plots; carelessness and cowardice; inordinate love of money and possessions.

But Jung carried on quite a bit about the Shadow Self and the Collective Shadow. It’s fascinating stuff and time I did some more reading about it.

I think we are living in an era where the Collective Shadow of this country is romping unconstrained, and it’s high time for some serious therapy.  Our souls are crying out for rescue from this power that’s taken hold and won’t let go.