Lucy’s Regal Blue Dress

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Nightlife. 1943 Archibald John Motley Jr.

Lucy Goosey pulled her worn winter coat out from the back of the closet.  Glancing around to make sure she was alone, she slid the dress out from underneath the coat.

The dress still had the tags on it.  It was a size 8, and the color was Regal Blue. It fit every part of her, requiring no alterations.

After she cut the tags off, Lucy would tuck them into her scrapbook.

 Lucy had never had clothing, other than underwear, that was storebought new with tags.

She kept the dress secret even from her mother, though it fair killed her.  She did not want the gossip and speculation to start.  She intended to surprise.

She laid the frock on her bed and spread the skirt.  The color was glorious, and Regal Blue was the perfect description.  The taffeta caught the early sun and glowed. With its full skirt and low neckline, Lucinda Marie Duval would command attention.

Lucy paid on the layaway for twelve weeks, doing without the few extras she allowed herself.  She walked to work every morning and home from secretarial school every night so she could use her bus fare against the layaway balance – the one decreasing oh so slowly. 

In celebration of her eventual achievement, the shop owner steamed the dress for free before expertly folding it to fit into the store’s signature box. 

Once home, she lifted the dress, taking care not to disturb the tissue paper stuffed into the bodice and sleeves to prevent wrinkles. Lucy set aside the pink ribbon used to bind the box shut. She would wear it with her maid’s uniform. 

She saved the pristine and sturdy white dress box.

Nothing in Lucy’s life served a single purpose. The gleaming dress would celebrate her betrothal or mark the end of a relationship stealing her youth.  The Regal Blue frock might go on to serve as her wedding dress should they decide on a Justice of the Peace, but either way, it would end up in the window of the consignment store.  The proceeds would be applied to the next semester’s tuition.

Johnny knew she, the woman he had nicknamed Lucy Goosey for her fluid dance moves, had been expecting a proposal for months. 

Johnny changed the subject if the air between them felt palpable with expectation.  He knew she was trying to find the words that would prod his.

Once she found those words, everything would change. 

A few times when her expectation niggled at his brain, he sent his younger brother with a message that he was ill and would not be able to escort her to Smitty’s as planned.

Johnny was not prepared for the Lucy who greeted him at the door.

Everyone at Smitty’s would understand as soon as she walked in arm-in-arm with Johnny. If they did walk into Smitty’s.  Moving from her doorway to Smitty’s might not happen.

The light from the floor lamp set her skin, her eyes, her hair, and the taffeta glowing.  Johnny was on the porch, but the lamp lit his face as well. 

Lucy watched his expression change and then change again. She did not need to say anything.

She was regal.

She wanted it understood she was not a supplicant. His first naked expression told Lucy he did understand.  He knew he had until he walked her home to make the decision.

The niggle had failed him this day. Surprise had been achieved.

The splendor of the dress did not overpower her in any way.  She was striking. She was tall. She was resolute.

Lucy was planning a future ablaze with certainty. She knew lots of people with promise who never found that future.

Still, her voice was soft when she said, “Shall we go now?”

Johnny held out his arm. She wrapped hers around it.

His voice as soft and gentle as hers had been, he said, “You are so lovely.”

Johnny would remember, for all of his life, the image of Lucy in the doorway.

Lucy did love Johnny.  He excited her and made her feel alive. They danced together like one body. She thought them well-suited in temperament, though she wasn’t sure his ambition matched hers.

Her future would fork left or would fork right this very evening. So would Johnny’s. The question was whether they would be arm-in-arm on the same fork.

Her mother and father had loved one another. As had his.

Though necessary, love can be not enough. Lucy understood that. Johnny suspected as much, but hadn’t allowed himself to think beyond the now.

He loved his Lucy Goosey, but he would never again call her by that name.

Now was slipping away and soon Lucy might too.

She slowed her pace to match his as he checked his watch.

Smitty’s was just around the corner.

Why I Write

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I was an early reader.

My father, who worshipped knowledge and bequeathed that religion to me, used 3×5 cards and masking tape to label everything in our home when I was three.

table

chair

couch

television

telephone

door

bed

And then there was the 3×5 card
he attached to his dog tags
with a paperclip that said Daddy.

But I don’t really remember reading early. I may have known some words by sight, but I don’t think I was reading reading.

I have a vivid memory of walking home from first grade, puzzling over a Dick and Jane story. It had been worksheet time, and I finished early, so the teacher told me to look ahead in my book.

I encountered the word neighbor. All the phonics in the world wasn’t helping me with that sucker. I twisted those sounds and pronounced it aloud as I walked home (yes, alone, children were feral in the 1960s), and as soon as I rounded the corner and saw the elderly woman who lived in the house next to ours, whom I called Grandma Dot, it clicked. Neighbor.

I think that’s the day I really learned how to read.

From that moment on, I read everything I could get my hands on. I had library books, Scholastic Fair books, and, best of all, the grocery bags of books my mom bought for me at the local Goodwill and Salvation Army.  And of course, the Weekly Reader. When those ran out, I read our World Book Encyclopedia. And one time, my dad came home to find his 8-year-old daughter reading the Taming of the Shrew in his collected works of Shakespeare.

I read the encyclopedia and the back of the cereal box and the church program and the owner’s manual for the car and anything else within arm’s reach when I had to, but I wanted story.

Someone wrote, or perhaps I heard it said at a conference or workshop,

The human brain is hardwired for story.
We crave it so much that our brain
tells us stories all night long
and we call them dreams.

Or something like that.

I read voraciously, but I was also a social child. Cottoning on pretty early that it was rude to whip out a book and start reading when the conversation began to lag, I began oral storytelling.

In sixth grade, I was famous for holding court underneath the North Carolina pine trees after dinner and telling stories I made up on the fly. After the sun set, they became scary stories, and we all, including me, shivered with delicious fright as the tale was spun. Even I didn’t know how it was going to end.

I didn’t write them down.

By junior high, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I knew writers had to write to be writers, but there was something about the blank page that kept me from making a mark on it.

I only wrote for school assignments.

In high school, I fell in love with classic literature and gave up all hope of ever being able to write that well.

So, I was premed in college.

And then I dropped out when organic chemistry was close to stealing my will to live.

But I continued to tell oral stories to anyone who would listen. Some true. Some not.

When I feared my brain had turned to mush and was sliding out of my ear and down my neck, I re-enrolled in college a few years before my 40th birthday. It’s not germane to this discussion, but I eventually majored in Cultural Anthropology. The semester I took stats and theory, I was in desperate need of diversion and signed up for creative writing.

Doing what I always wanted to do with my GPA on the line kept me accountable. I mastered the blank page. It was dreck, but it was something.

And I found the state of being Diane Ackerman calls Deep Play.

Deep play is the ecstatic form of play.
In its thrall, all the play elements are visible,
but they’re taken to intense and transcendent heights.

My head, my heart, my soul, and my body were all in sync while I pounded keys trying to get the words into pixels before another synapse fired and they were gone.

I love the syncopation of my inner drum circle where id, ego, and superego jammed together, their beat thrumming through my body and my brain.

I write because it feels good. I write because I don’t just want to consume the needed story; I want to create it.

I write to be read. I think I have something to say that perhaps is of use to some people.

And I write to remember. I write to leave a legacy.

I write because that 6th-grade girl remembers the rush she felt when she knew her audience was leaning forward waiting for the next line.

Because we are all hardwired for story.

I want to coin a new word

/ wvfurandroot / 2 Comments

I want a word that means to feel it all at once. To include the cognitive dissonance with the revelation of divine knowledge. To embrace the sacred and the profane. I want that word to recognize that I can be at peace and at war within myself at any moment, either one or both simultaneously.

To feel it all at once is to glimpse the mind of the creator. Perhaps. I want the ennui and the exhilaration of my being to dance. A tango. Slow, deliberate, sinuous, winding about one another until the boredom embraces the joy reaching crescendo. And then there is silent acceptance of both when the music fades.

This is my life now. I don’t want to call it a new normal. I despise normal – always have. I have striven all my life not to be average. I’d rather be a failure than just fade to black.

This life, the one right here, the one that I call a trainwreck, is mine and I don’t want to shut down any part of it. It has become who I am.

I was in a trainwreck one time. Really. I hit a train. It makes for a great party story.

And that is my goal: to ferment all of this into a story that both bears witness to the tragedy and provokes laughter at having trried to overcome it all and only sometimes succeeding. I want to coin that word.

If we can’t laugh, we can’t cry, and both are necessary for either to have any potency. Any meaning. Any effect.

I want a word for all of this. These events and feelings and effects have shaped me and continue to shape me into a person I hardly recognize, but who is resolutely and most definitely me.

Surrender Your Booty

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This appears to be fake. WXYZ is a station in Detroit. An internet search doesn’t bring up anything but social media sites.

It’s important to have a retirement plan.  The statistics reveal that many people, especially men, die within a few years of retirement.  The key, they say, is to be active and have hobbies that you enjoy. 

I don’t think I will have any problem with that, but I do worry about being physically active since my hobby – my avocation – is writing.  The older I get, the harder it is to be mobile for any length of time, so I need to nip this in the bud.

I’m not really an exercise kind of chick aside from yoga.  And yes, I will quickly enroll in a yoga class once I’m fully retired.  But I don’t think that’s going to be enough.

So, perhaps you can imagine my delight when I ran across the (fake) news story of a Florida woman who dressed as a pirate, complete with an eye patch, drove to the mall, dropped a kayak into the fountain, got in the kayak, and hollered “Ahoy me maties” and “Surrender your booty” at passing shoppers. 

Now, first of all, carrying that kayak from the car to the fountain was a good workout.  And if you’ve ever been in a kayak, you know that just getting into one isn’t all that easy either.  And then to row while entertaining a growing crowd? Now that’s a workout. 

The arrest part is unfortunate, but perhaps one could get a permit or such?  It would add so much pizazz to the boring Silver Sneakers workout.  And that doesn’t even factor in the exercise of shopping for pirate costumes and accoutrements. 

The tri-state area has several fountains.  There’s one at Ritter Park and, of course, the one at Marshall, but it would be gauche to do such a thing at a memorial.  Of course, the mall has one or did.  I haven’t been in the mall for years.  There’s one at Pullman Square, I think. The Civic Center may have one.  And that doesn’t even count the surrounding towns.  I would stay busy both performing in the fountains and searching for new fountains. 

I could also branch out into rivers and creeks.  I think performing on the Ohio River at Picnic with the Pops would add an extra layer of entertainment for the participants.  And there’s that manmade lake at Barboursville Park.  Four Pole Creek meanders through Ritter Park, which hosts all sorts of events that could be improved with a pirate ac

After a certain amount of time, I could recruit for a crew.  Just think.  An armada of kayaks bearing old women in pirate costumes!  Who could have imagined I’d reach fame in my senior years?

I think it’s a plan.