You can see me?

Photo by Max on Unsplash

“You can see me?” 

I used to say that to strangers who insisted on talking to me when I just wanted to be alone.  Of course, they didn’t think I was really a ghost they just thought I was crazy. 

If they only knew.

I’ve been living in this town for just shy of 20 years. I have friends who are asking more and more about family and my origins-compulsing about how alone I am in the world. Wanting to be my family. 

It’s time to move on.  I don’t age and people start asking questions. There was that unfortunate situation in 1918 that I’d rather not repeat. Usually, I move on after about 15 years, but it’s getting harder to pull this off. 

In 1918 I didn’t need a photo ID or a social security card.  They’ve made identity theft harder than ever, but I manage.  I am resourceful.

I’m partial to college towns. There are lots of young women and they get careless with their backpacks especially when they think they’re sitting next to another young woman. 

“Hey!  Can you watch my stuff? I need a refill.”

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Platitudes

Young Lady Reading a Red Book
by Amalia Suruceanu

Where did you find this card?  It is scrumptious — hand-made paper and a soft watercolor image that I think might have been an original.  You didn’t make this, did you?  Was this all your handiwork?

If so, I’ve never had a handmade card deliver an I’m breaking up with you message before. 

Your card arrived in the mail today.  I noticed the pink envelope first, and then my heart beat faster when I saw it was your handwriting. 

You’ve always been an original. 

My heart stopped for a minute after I read the first line. Although those opening words were innocuous, I knew what was coming.  I knew as soon as I saw your writing on the envelope. 

I knew. 

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Childhood memories are potent.

The beach at the very end of what used to be Lawrence Road on the Kaneohe Marine base was one of Oahu’s less spectacular beaches. Unlike Waikiki, sand had not been imported from Australia to create a tourist-friendly spot to sunbathe. No. The beach was a gleaming black lava flow with large, jagged pieces of the black rock the Goddess Pele had tossed about, sitting atop the long-since-cooled lava flow of her anger that oozed across even earlier flows.

In this manner, the beautiful island was formed. The ancient path of Pele’s wrath was worn smooth by the eternal motion of the Pacific Ocean.  The water was a vivid blue that one can’t imagine until they see it for themselves — up close and personal.  The crashing waves were edged with white foam reaching for the sky. None of it looks real.

That shoreline smelled of plumeria and hibiscus. It smelled of coconuts lying on the ground in the bright tropical sun.   It smelled of salt and mildew and of decomposing small sea creatures trapped in the tidepools when the ocean receded.

I was a feral child crouched over a tidepool formed by smooth lava and the blue water of Kaneohe Bay. 

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Scoot

Photo by Omar Ramadan on Unsplash

The kids were so excited to come home from school to find Scoot sitting on the porch.  His backpack was on the floor, and he was practicing the chords for Folsom Prison Blues. Marianne managed to tear herself away long enough to let me know with the required after-school phone call to check in.

“Mom, guess what!  Uncle Scoot is here! “

At that news, I wrapped the coiled cord of the business’s landline around my neck and pulled. I often did this as a joke to amuse my colleagues, but today?  Today I did want to strangle myself. 

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