Keep your eyes on the prize, they say.  My problem is I’m not sure what the prize is.  Other times I know exactly what it is.  Contentment, Happiness, Peace.  But perhaps if I achieved the prize, my life would stagnate.  Is the quest part of the achievement?  I’m happier than I’ve ever been.  Some days I’m damn near exuberant.  Other days, not so much.  Long Covid, I’m blaming.  I worry about what mutant thing that dam virus has done to my DNA or is doing to it. 

But let’s not go there.  I’ve had several nights of good sleep.  Restorative sleep.  Deep sleep.  I’m so well-rested I’m practically giddy.  What a difference sleep makes.  The world, though rainy and gloomy, is bright and shiny.  I can cope with my to-do list.  I may even conquer it.  The brain fog is still there, dammit long covid, but it too is not quite so bad.  In this merry month of May, I am hopeful and maybe that’s my real quest.

To be hopeful in this world at this time is perhaps delusional.  Things are dire and we’re going to hell in a hand basket while people shout stupid slogans or, just as bad, go on as if nothing is happening. 

But today I have hope that somehow, someway it’s all going to work out.  I think that’s the prize.