Appalachia

Chris Needham needs a pair.

/ wvfurandroot / 18 Comments

Buzzardbilly (my separated-at-birth-and several-years-younger twin whom I’ve never met) has been blogging here, here and here about Chris Needham’s bashing of West Virginia and NBC’s publishing of said article.

The story broke about a week before Christmas, but I’ve been lost in my own little world and didn’t hear tell of any of it until just a couple of days ago. The governor is furious and lots of people, rightly, are asking for a retraction, an apology, and a follow-up news story.

Upon hearing the news, I was disgusted and my ire rose, but not enough to drag me into the fray. I was just too tired. (And I call myself an Appalachian Activist. Shame on me.) Well, after a few days of round-the-clock sleep, I’m about as mad as a body can get. My panties are twisted and knotted big time.

What an ass! (I’m referring to Chris and not that part of my body where the twisted panties are.)

Now Buzzardbilly has a way with words and, really, she’s the best person to read to fully understand why the original news article was so offensive as well as why Needham’s and NBC’s response to the criticism was so woefully inadequate. NBC pulled the article from its website and the people of West Virginia (and only the people of West Virginia) got a sorry if you were offended type of statement issued only to a West Virginia news outlet.

Now, personally, I’ve never thought an apology you had to ask for was worth a shit in an outhouse, but if you do ask for one and you get a “Gee willikers, I’m sorry you were offended,” well that’s just an additional insult. Neither Needham nor NBC is owning the problem, much less making restitution.

No worries - the misspelling of Nebraska was corrected before mailing.

As much as it bothers me, I’m a Drama Queen. As such, I can’t bear the thought of being just another irate email, just another West Virginia blogger shooting volleys of words, or, worse, just another Appalachian sitting around saying, “Well, what can you do? People have been saying this stuff for years.” It is not because I don’t think the written word is powerful, but because chiming in at this late date means there’s nothing I can say that hasn’t been said. (Drama Queens just hate that.) Our point has been made (and re-made) and I’m pretty sure Chris and NBC stopped reading a couple hundred emails ago.

Now don’t misconstrue that last paragraph. I think it’s vitally important to send email and letters. Vital. Important. They may not read them, but they’ll note they’re coming in. It is also important to blog about it and talk about it. Inundating both Needham and NBC with our complaints will have an effect even if they don’t read our words.

But. I’m a Drama Queen in Good Standing. I have to work to retain my tiara. (It’s not all rhinestones, sequins and boas.)

So. I put my tiara on and sat to thinking. I came up with what I think is a pretty good idea, but I needed NBC Washington’s mailing address. Shouldn’t have been that hard to come up with, but it was. I don’t think NBC really wants snail mail, because the address is nowhere on their website. I was all over the web before I could find anything at all. I called 202-885-4200 and verified the *mailing* address. So, unless that woman lied, I mailed two bouncy balls to this address:

Chris Needham
NBC Washington
4001 Nebraska Ave NW
Washington, DC 20016

 

Bouncy balls? Yes, bouncy balls – ones the size of volleyballs. Pink ones, as a matter of fact. Two of them. And if it is true that NBC doesn’t want snail mail, I figure two, bright pink, bouncy balls will get their attention.

I know for a fact that if you take two bouncy balls down to the post office with the address written on the balls with a Sharpie and hand them to the clerk, the clerk will slap postage on those suckers and mail them off. No packaging (talk about environmentally friendly!) – nothing but bouncy balls in the mail sack to get dumped on some poor person in the mail room. (Take a moment to savor that image.)

On the side of the ball opposite the address, I wrote:

Dear Chris and NBC-Washington,

Since y’all don’t have the balls to issue a proper apology to the people of West Virginia or a proper retraction to your readership, I thought I’d help you out. Sincerely, Connie

And the second reads:

Dear Chris and NBC-Washington,

Here’s the second ball. I wanted to make sure you had a pair. Sincerely, Connie

I have hopes of provoking a smile on the face of that mailroom person. With any luck, said person will not like Chris Needham or be from West Virginia, or both. Now if it was me in that mailroom and a postal person handed me two bouncy balls, I’d be flying down the hallways to hand deliver those suckers. But it could be that’s just me.

Now I get the giggles thinking about what might happen if a few people sent Chris bouncy balls. Or more than a few. In that part of my imagination where grandiose dreams live, I think about hundreds of bouncy balls landing in the offices of NBC Washington. (Now savor that image.)

There are two reasons I like this idea: 1) it’s visual, spatial, colorful, and, well, bouncy (kinesthetic, if you will); and 2) it is permeated with a sense of humor. These reasons sum up West Virginia rather nicely, I think. Besides it’s just the kind of a thing a Hillbilly Diva Drama Queen with twisted panties would do. It’s not like I had a choice.

So, if you’re of a mind to, feel free to send a bouncy ball or two to Chris Needham.

Note: I had to do a fair amount of talking at the post office to convince the clerk that yes, indeedy, I could send bouncy balls sans box through the mail. She finally agreed.  They cost me $1.73 apiece in postage. If you do decide to send Chris a pair and your postal person balks, you might mention this company.  All told, I’ve got less than$8 invested.

Over the Top Award

/ wvfurandroot / 8 Comments

over_the_top_awardI have been remiss in fulfilling my obligations for the Over the Top Award. My reasons are three-fold: (1) I am so very behind in my blog reading; and (2) many of the folks I would give the award to already have it; and, (3) of those who don’t, narrowing things down to just six people means I would have to leave someone out which seems such a junior-high-clique-ish thing to do.

What I would prefer to do, and what I’m going to do, is run through my newly cleaned up blog list and mention what it is I find so fascinating about each. Each and every one deserves the award.  Alphabetically:

Blind Pig & the Acorn If nothing else, the music that plays when you hit the link is worth the click. I’m passionate about the celebration of Appalachian heritage and this blog is Over the Top in that respect.

And then there’s Cosanostradamus over at Blog Me No Blogs. He’s completely Over the Top. Writing on a variety of subjects with a decided left-leaning slant, I am appreciative of his commitment to honoring bloggers through his Cosie Awards. He’s definitely worth a visit.

Of course, there’s the incomparable, amazing, and scintillating Buzzardbilly who gave me this award to pass on. I am so enamored of her blog, that I’ve proposed marriage. BB also celebrates the Appalachian heritage, but her real forte is ranting and raving about the negative imposition of the hillbilly stereotype. Recently, she’s been writing a lot about music which is important to her soul. I miss her scathing analyses of the evil done to us by folks’ insistence on applying sweeping, untrue generalizations to all the individuals of this region – some of us who wear the hillbilly label proudly.

Chickens in the Road is another celebration of our traditional life. At this moment, Suzanne is writing about cast iron. If I were going to pick a symbol for Appalachian resiliency, it would be cast iron. We are forged in fire, seasoned after years of hard work, and worth our weight in gold.

Alex over at Clicks and Pops writes about music. Developing an album addiction as a young man, Alex is good for writing about the trivia and features of the music many of us grew up with (and love still). His knowledge about the music, the artists, and their accompanying zeitgeist is deep and wide ( my lame attempt at a musical pun) – not to mention Over the Top.

Creating Utopia also welcomes you with music and the best of Appalachia. This blog details efforts at horse rescue. It can be heart-breaking, but more often it’s inspiring. So many creatures are mistreated and it’s satisfying to see them thrive with love and attention. While horse rescue is the specialty, lots of other animals are presented. I’ve wanted a horse for a long time and someday I will have one. I’ve now decided that when I can accommodate such, the horse needs to be a rescue – thanks to this blog.

Esse Diem is a blog like mine – a little of this and a little of that. Living in West Virginia, she reminds me a little of my younger self. I wish she’d post more often, but then some people say that about me. Dynamic women have busy lives.

Evil Twin’s Wife over at The Glamorous Life of a Hausfrau lives not too far from me, but we’ve never met. As the title indicates, she’s a “housewife” that details her daily life as wife and mother. She occasionally talks about the multiple sclerosis that doesn’t slow her down a bit.

Garden Rant is a must-read for gardeners. Focusing on sustainable gardening, it also features real gardens – not the overly manicured, chemically-ridden “perfect” vistas we so much of on the web and in magazines. Be sure to read the manifesto.

Granny Sue is a storyteller in the Appalachian tradition and shares her experiences living here and loving here. While her prose is wonderful, I particularly like her photo-essays. Her gardens, her critters, and her sense of humor are a good way to start my morning.

I don’t know what to say about Huh? The Blonde Goddess is Confused. I’m not sure if Buzzard Billy or The Blonde Goddess is more Over the Top. Both are outrageous and apt to say something that provokes the spewing of beverages all over the computer screen.

Incurable Logophilia is a must read for those of us with an abiding love of books (and words). I don’t get over there as much as I should and I regret that.

Janis over Juanuchis’ Way irritates me to no end. She really, really must (and I mean it) write more often. If I ever get to meet her, I’m going to flog her for not writing.

Jamie’s Life’s a Feast blog is a food-lover’s paradise. If you wander over there, be prepared for luscious photographs and mouth-watering descriptions of food, with an emphasis on baking. Also, be prepared for some fine story-telling.

Possum Lane at My Little Corner of the World is another diverse blog about daily life. Currently, she’s talking about the gifts in her life. This too is a blog I don’t read as often as I should. Shame on me.

O>w/hole>1 defies description. He specializes in concise comments and links. With a wry humor and soupcon of sarcasm, he’ll take you all over the web.

Rick Lee’s photo blog is a visual delight. I’m particularly fond of his Thursday night produce shopping photos. How he can take the mundane and make it seem extraordinary is a great gift. Right now he has cauliflower and other vegetable wonders.

Sagacious Hillbilly is another blogger that defies description. He’s so Over the Top I don’t know where to begin. I can’t decide if his blog is more outrageous or his comments on my blog. Currently, he’s suggesting I photograph myself in boots and a garter belt and post it. [Ummmm, no.]

Six Forty-Five is the blog I set up for my Chef Boy’R Mine’s 24th birthday. I’m thinking if I give him an award, he’ll post more often. He has a gift for words and he’s living an extraordinary life. He needs to share it – at least with me – through a blog with lots of pictures – dammit!

speak You’re bRanes features commentary on actual comments made on the web. It’s hilarious and soooooo Over the Top. Really, trust me, this will make you laugh until you cry – unless you’re stunned by the militant ignorance sweeping the world.

Unclutterer is a minimalist, de-junk and streamline your life blog. I find it to be inspiring in my continued quest to pare down my stuff to only that which I love. In fact, it’s the site that got me started and keeps me motivated.

Vera’s Weblog is a nice read about self-sufficient living in Minnesota. Vera is a German transplant and has an interesting perspective about life in the states. She, too, doesn’t post as often as I’d like.

Verbotomy is a word lover’s paradise – especially if you love coining new words and defining them. This blog is also good for the first chuckle of the day.

Jim over at Wabi-Sabi is a colleague and his blog focuses on politics and his family life. I love, absolutely love, how much he loves being a dad, a husband, and a progressive.

And so, these are my nominations for the Over the Top Award. Those of you willing to pass it on, feel free to grab it and wear the award proudly on your site. I hate the “grab-if-you-want-it” bestowing of awards, but, truthfully, I can’t pick just six and I’m only doing it this way because I can’t make you accept and follow the rules of acceptance.

Really, these are my favorites and I do a lot of blog surfing. Enjoy! And thank-you, Buzzardbilly, for the Over the Top Award. I love, and appreciate, any and all recognition for my attempts at sharing my life.

We are front porch people.

/ wvfurandroot / 29 Comments
Good Morning used with permission under a Creative Commons license http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3003/2902461817_3edf478283.jpg?v=0

Good Morning
used with permission under a Creative Commons license
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3003/2902461817_3edf478283.jpg?v=0

We are front porch people.

We sit on our porches in the evening, drinking coffee or a cold beer or sweet tea. We watch the lightning bugs, admire the petunias and Boston ferns that hang from hooks and glow in the evening sun. We talk to our neighbors – those people sitting on their front porch.

According to Dr. O. Norman Simpkins, one of the defining characteristics of Appalachians is our open-faced outlook. The hillbilly stereotype says we’re distrustful or bashful around strangers – out and out flapdoodle.

Boston Ferns

Boston Ferns

That open-faced outlook means we’re curious. In our smaller communities where everyone knows everyone else, we assume everyone knows everything about us and we act accordingly.

When I first moved back here from the wastelands of the frozen north, I was greatly heartened by – and shocked by – people’s penchant to tell me anything and everything. When we do meet someone we don’t know, the conversation immediately turns to questions. We try to find our commonalities; we try to find the places where our lives intersect; we try to become something other than strangers to one another.  We do this in even the most casual of interactions.

A journalist writing a story on our obesity described his experience on the backroads as people gawking in shock at a new car. Balderdash. Those people were gawking out of curiosity. We have new cars. What we don’t have as a norm is New Yorkers driving the backroads. Those people were intrigued about why he was driving through their neighborhood. Had he stopped, we’d have been all over him with questions, plied him with refreshments, and told him our stories. Well we would have unless he got out of the car bearing an attitude of the Great Savior here to save us from ourselves.

New Pots

New Pots

Last night, I went to a big box store and lugged two huge planters to the check out counter. On my way to the counter, six people tried to help me, one engaged me in a conversation about tomato plants (of which I know nothing) and one chortled at the slogan on my t-shirt. [IT Survivor for the curious.]

Within seconds, the check-out clerk and I were laughing about how early we get up and my warning to him to never become an old menopausal woman. In a short time, I learned his name, alma mater, and job resume. He was concerned at how I was going to get those planters in my car and insisted on calling in backup to help me to the car. Our banter did not slow down the check-out process, but it certainly improved the waiting on the debit card approval.

In my experience, these things do not happen in other regions of the country. Our sense of humor, our insistence on personalizing impersonal experiences, and our curiosity about one another are great strengths. We are front porch people.

The nation as a whole is becoming more homogenous. We watch cable news, but not the local news. Gone are the local talk radio shows. Community owned stores are suffering in the wake of the big box stores and dropping like flies. Our small neighborhood churches are losing membership to the big, mega churches. We consume the same media, goods and experiences as the rest of the country and in doing so we leave our front porches to barbeque on the back deck – or worse, go inside to watch cable television.

Sitting on the front porch, hollering “hey” to our neighbors sitting on their front porch, and watching the people drive by are just another means of connecting to one another. It’s a tremendous community-building activity.

Building community is critical to economic and social success. When we know and appreciate our neighbors, we become invested in their lives. If they own businesses, we patronize them. If they’re out of work, we help if we can. We help carry pots in from the car and we babysit one another’s children.

Admiring Petunias

Admiring Petunias

Our problem is not that we’re hillbillies (in the worst sense of the word), but that the homogenization of our cultural ways with the mainstream is hurting our community identity. We need to get back on our front porches, invest ourselves in one another’s lives, and watch the ensuing transformation. When people know one another, great things happen. Helping carry pots turns into helping grow a business, helping a child succeed at school, helping a senior citizen with yard work and, thus, avoiding the big box high-rises that don’t have front porches.  We need to not just admire our petunias, but one another.

We are front porch people. We need to be there more.

This post was written as part of the A Better West Virginia Challenge.
[Ironically, I do not have a front porch. It’s on the To-Do List.]