Connie Kinsey is a former military brat who has put down deep roots in a converted barn on a dirt road at the top of a hill in West Virginia. She lives with two dogs and a cat and is pursuing happiness, one cup of coffee at a time. Her award-winning writing has been published online and in print. She is also a spoken word artist and the Writer-in-Residence for the Museum of the American Military Family. Connie has blogged at https://wvfurandroot.com since 2008 and is wild about comments. You can reach her by email at c_kinsey@frontier.com.
Are you a tourist or a traveler? Is it a trip or a quest? A journey or a destination?
These days, I’m a tourist more than a journeyer. I did my journey early in life. I was on a quest for years before coming home to myself. Coming home to my heritage. Coming home to my genetics.
That sounds kind of sad, but I don’t mean for it to. A year or so ago, maybe two, I was playing around with some video software and did a digital story about my house. I often don’t know what I think, until I start writing. The montage needed a script and so I wrote one. In the course of writing, I discovered I had reached my destination. The journey was over.
Now when I leave home, I’m a tourist. I’m not looking for a place to live or find happiness or fulfillment. I’m simply out seeing the sights. Kirk Judd wrote:
I thinks one reason I be leavin' alla time is 'cause the comin' home feel so good
If only what was said could be taken back, I could sleep at night. Completely taken back as if the words were never uttered, never broke the barrier between thought and vocalization. If only.
Julien May 29, 2022
If only what was done could be undone, I could move forward. Completely undone as if the deed never provoked an outcome, a clean slate. If only.
If only the thought could be lost before it sullied my heart. Forgotten before it was acknowledged, never to leave its stain of discord on my psyche. If only.
If only, I could be a vehicle for harmony and peace. Never to sow sadness or anger or criticism. To be a nurturing soul to all I encounter. If only.
If only, I could get to the core me, I would be perfect. Radiating love and hope, a person of perfection in this imperfect world. If only.
If only, I could return to the beginning. Without scar or wound. Prejudice and temper, ego unfettered. If only.
If only I could return to that state of grace of the newborn – one of wonder, content, suckling only love. If only.
W. Va. Fur and Root 