The greatest need of our time is to clean out the enormous mass of mental and emotional rubbish that clutters our minds. – Thomas Merton
My mind is a magpie collecting bits and pieces of shiny things from all corners of my world. They glitter and shine in the afternoon light, no matter that they are simply debris of broken glass or twisted metal from a car wreck. It twinkles and glows in my peripheral vision and I sweep it up and hold it dear. My mind is full of such flotsam and jetsam.
With my broken leg, I’ve had to slow down my movements even considering that I had long covid and was already slow. Now, I’m at a snail’s pace. Life is different when you move slowly. When you must plan outings including a simple trip upstairs to get a forgotten hairbrush. You learn to prioritize, to multitask, and to be patient.
Patience, indeed. This has been a humbling experience. I thought the indignities of long covid were awful. At least with long covid, I could do for myself, it just took me a long time. With the leg, the pain would stop me in my tracks. “I have to sit down now.” “Can you help me?” “I can’t.” all became part of my daily lexicon. The “I can’t.” was the hardest lesson of all.
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Anything can be. Aren’t those lovely words? Strictly speaking, they’re not true – there are some things I just can’t be. I can’t be an astronaut, Miss America, or a brain surgeon. But there are so many things that I can do. All my life, I wanted to be a writer. I said I would write when this or that eased up, or when I had something to say, or after my child was grown, or I didn’t have to work any long, or or or.
Continue readingMelissa stood at the crosswalk waiting on the light to change. It had been long enough now that she was concerned the button wasn’t working. When for the second time, the north-south traffic lights turned green she was certain of it.
She wondered again where her strict adherence to rules came from. The thought of crossing against the light without a walk sign gave her the jitters. She was close to sweat popping out on her forehead. She stopped, channeled her yoga instructor of thirty years earlier, and breathed three long slow inhalations and exhalations. Elaine’s voice popped into her mind, “Three deep breaths at times of stress will almost always relax you enough to cope. “
Melissa needed all the coping mechanisms she could get.
On the other side of Third Avenue, she headed right towards her office. The sun was warm on her back and the thought of confining herself to her office on this lovely lovely birthday eve day was anathema.
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