I’ve had a very strange day.
I believe the term is gobsmacked.
I never saw it coming.
The story is complicated and not all that interesting; I’m far more intrigued with my reaction.
My biography is one of twists and turns, coincidences, joys, tragedies and so on that are not necessarily uncommon, but unusual in their frequency and persistence. If my life were a novel, no one would believe it. I know not to say never.
Even knowing that, I think we all have some experiences that we feel quite confident when putting it into the never column. That will never happen. I would never do that.
Today, I got hit with a never that I had felt comfortable with. I had examined it, studied it, and decreed, definitively, that this would never affect my life.
Here we are.
I am not upset – I’m actually a little amused though it’s not really a subject that is fodder for comedians. Still, as this post exhibits, I’m not willing to share this never and that in itself is unusual. I’m pretty open about things. I need to process, cogitate, mull, consider, research and niggle on it for a bit.
The timing of this is even stranger. I woke up to news that saddened me, but didn’t really affect my life other than to be concerned for a friend. Several hours later, that news now potentially applies to me, but I wasn’t saddened by the learning of it. The experience was more of an ah-ha…that explains it.
This may prove to be a seminal moment in a life of seminal moments.
Lest anyone fret, I don’t have some deadly disease, didn’t lose my job, am not pregnant, and my external life will not change to the casual observer. My inner life will be very different. I think.
I’ve mentioned several times that I can’t get morning glories or moonflowers to grow. They’re both common flowers that are considered invasive and many folk despair of ever getting rid of them once they plant them. I am uncommonly fond of both of them. They speak to me of home and hearth, comfort and simple pleasures. Common though they may be, I an enchanted by them.
I’ve followed the directions at least 50 times and, at most, got a couple of straggly morning glories and not one moonflower. I say, frequently, that I’m never going to get them to grow for me; that I’m cursed. Every year, I try again. Usually, I try twice each growing season.
Yesterday, I noticed the moonflowers had germinated and were poking up. Today, the morning glories emerged. I think this is the year.
While my never is not a garden variety invasive plant, it is a negative for many people, yet I’m enchanted. It explains a lot. It’s one less why in my whiny laments. Now, I understand.
This year, I went about germinating moonflowers and morning glory a little bit differently. I isolated the seeds in a pot, half drowned them for the first few days, and treated them with far more care than most people do. I was rewarded,
Change is not only inevitable; change is good. Following directions only works when it works. Never say never.