I am refusing to whine about anything that might actually garner some sympathy.
I’m about to explode from the built-up pressure.
Yeah, verily, I am going to whine about things there is nothing I, or seemingly anyone, can do anything about. In no particular order:
1. What is it with coffee pots? It doesn’t matter if I buy the $10 one at Kmart or the $100 one at Macy’s, they all include a carafe from which it is impossible to pour a cup of coffee without dribbling. Is the proper design of a glass (or stainless steel) receptacle for hot fluids so complicated? Tea kettle manufacturers having been doing it for years. Perhaps the two industries should talk.
2. For crying out loud, people, it’s rude (RUDE I tell you) to go through the Taco Bell drive through at 12:00 p.m. and order $57.63 worth of tacos (17 crunchy, two no sour cream, three extra tomatoes, no lettuce on two of those, add guacamole to 5 substituting refried beens for beef on one, 11 soft chicken tacos…) If you’re ordering for more than two people (or eat more than two people can be expected to eat), get out of your car and go inside.
3. Marshall students? Trust me on this one. You will not immediately drop dead, lose cell phone reception, or be forced to wear sweatpants from the Dollar General if you cross Third Avenue in an actual crosswalk. My insurance rates are high enough – I don’t need your trendy-jean- clad ass under my bumper.
4. Now we all know that there is an obesity epidemic in this country. We also all know that there will always be folks who insist on stopping in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store to respond to a critically important phone call (OMG you saw him with who?) Can we petition Kroger to make the aisles wider? They’ve made the buggies bigger (presumably to make it easier to fit all the groceries it takes to maintain obesity), but apparently the engineers were trapped behind the car in No. 3 above when they had the meeting about aisle width. Between extra-wide buggies, pushed by extra-wide people who can’t hear because they’re talking on the cell phone, I’m tired of gridlock in the cereal aisle. (Don’t get me started on $6 boxes of cereal.)
5. Why does a 34A have to pay the same price as a 40D for mammary torture devices? The inverse of which is why do clothing manufacturers charge $10 more for a tall size that is 3” longer but don’t charge $10 less for petite sizes that are 3” shorter?
6. People who call me and start off with, “Who is this?”
7. Men who think I’m going to strip, shout Hot Damn, and offer to bear their children upon learning they have (or intend to have or used to have) a motorcycle.
8. Retail goods such as CDs, DVDs, batteries, mascara, etc. safety sealed for my protection (i.e. clam-shell packaging).
9. Cheap junk that won’t work even when it’s brand new that my credit card offers me as a reward (if I pay shipping and handling). Even worse, they attach the paper offering this crap to the envelope I need to use to mail my payment WHICH if I try to tear off renders the envelope unusable.
10. Those new fangled shampoo bottles. The spout thing opens and closes just fine, but if you want to take the whole cap off in order to put water into the mostly empty bottle and swish it around so you can get the last drop of shampoo out during those bathing emergencies when you realize you’re (mostly) out of shampoo and can’t because the cap is snapped onto the bottle much in the same way that laptop parts are snapped together.
So what are you whining about?