Mortimer

The other ones would make fun if they could see me.  My top rim is crimped and stained with lipstick.  The bottom is dented and misshapen from trips through the Keurig which is just a tad too small. 

I was intended to be a single use with retirement then imminent.  This chick has poured at least ten cups of coffee into me.  I feel so used.  And dirty.

But yet.

I should be in a landfill somewhere making conversation with pods, coffee filters, and wadded-up paper towels – all of my single-use kindred – but here I am with some sort of demented environmentalist who assuages her guilt at using me, by using and using and using me.  She’s a demon.

She says she likes the way I fit into her hand.  Hell’s bells.  I’m just a 20 oz foam coffee cup.  Made for take-out and advertising – Waffle House in cheerful black letters on yellow squares.    The slogan is “America’s Place to Work” – when did I become a help wanted ad?  I’m not suited for such.  Who digs through the trash looking for tips on places to work?  Is that the sort of person they want?

I hope not.  I liked Theresa and Tony.  I watched them from my place in the tower of cups next to the Bunn coffee machine.  They were fun.  Easy banter back and forth.  Theresa giggled a lot.  Tony looked at her at every opportunity.  I wondered if they were having a thing.  I knew my time was getting closer as my vantage point got closer and closer to being at the top of the tower of cups. 

And then I was next.  I could feel the breeze from the air vent on my nether region.

I heard her say, “Oh, and a large coffee to go, please.”  With that I was pried off of my neighbor and filled with the steaming hot substance that keeps them going.  A lid smartly slapped on.  She carried me to the car and then she carried me into her home. 

I was sipped until emptied and expected to find myself in a waste can, but no.  Next thing I know, I’m being mashed into a too short Keurig and am filled with more coffee.  It hurts my rim when she does that.  Not to mention my bottom.  She may be saving me from the landfill, but must she torture me in the process?

From my point of view, the landfill is not so bad once you get there.  The journey through waste receptacles, garbage trucks and that frightening dump from high in the sky is traumatic, but no more traumatic than your average human death. 

Time in the landfill, the recycled ones say, is sort of like retirement.  You just sit around shooting the shit and playing silly games.  Not so bad.

Not so bad here, either.  I’ve got a new group of friends here on her desk.  The stapler, I’ve never met one you know.  As long as he keeps his sharp points to himself, we’ll be friends.  The tape.  The pen.  I understand that at some coffee shops the waitress writes names on the cups.  I think I would like to have a name and not just be part of a lot number.  The pen and I are brainstorming on how to make that so. 

She often names some of her belongings.  I daydream that I’m special enough for a name, but refills go by and nothing.  I am trying to be content with my lot in life wondering how many more times she will use me.  She’s an addict.  I wonder who she will replace me with.  Will they have a name. Mortimer, maybe?  I could be a Mortimer.2220000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I am David.

The Philistines are upon me.  A great army across the valley taunting and tormenting my peaceful village.  I am afraid.   They are big, they are evil, and they want our peace of mind.  Our happy spirits.  They want to trample us in the mud and take our lives. To leave us as carrion on the valley floor.

Photo by Jianxiang Wu on Unsplash

Oh where is my David?  Where is the sling and the five smooth stones?  I need to triumph over the Philistines coming for me. Coming for us.

Their largest, Goliath, heaps insult upon me.  His very presence is a storm cloud over me and my heart is heavy, my mind churning, and my body trembling.  He can do so much damage to me and mine. 

Deliver me from this Philistine.

Oh, Lord, hear my prayer.

I drop to my knees and see that the daffodils have buds.  The wheel in the sky is turning.  Spring comes.  I feel hope in my chest flutter like an awakening bird. Not the peaceful dove, but the avenging hawk.

There is no David.  There is no sling.  There are no five smooth stones.  There is just me and my travails.  Just me and my scant courage. Oh Lord hear my prayer and give me the strength of the daffodils.

The strength to emerge victorious in frightening conditions.  The strength to outlast adversity.  The strength to blossom in deep snow.  Do not let this be a false spring. 

Bring me the peace of knowing that I am enough.  That I can lead a victorious life.  One that is free of the Philistines that would steal my tranquility and ravage my happy home.

If David can be unafraid and face the threat in the knowledge that he is enough, I can too. 

I am David.

Goliath will not be my nemesis.  I alone can defeat the peril with the sweet spirit of a shepherd protecting what they have been charged to watch over. 

Oh Lord, hear my prayer. Shepherd me through this perilous time.

Hush.

Gabriele Corno Moonlight Shadow

Hush.

Shhhhhhhh.

Just stop. 

The earth and the moon are still.  Be quiet, be at ease but be attentive to the silence.

This is the night you will remember during the moment of your last breath, before your transformation but after your acquiescence. 

What will come is unorthodox, but beautiful.  Holy in its perfection.

Be ye not afraid.

Remember,

This too shall pass.

What made you start cooking? A guest blog by Jeremy Leinen aka Chef Boy ‘R Mine

I’m sure many chefs get asked the question all the time of how they found their way into the kitchen. There are a few of the usual stories that get shared but it’s not always the cookie-cutter story of helping mom or grandma.

For me, it’s half typical and half not. At a pretty young age, I was helping my mom make bread- I think I was six years old. It was the Betty Crocker Cookbook and I recall using a standard white bread. A side story is that this bread got an unlikely nickname as “the bread with the hole in the top.” To explain, my mom was apparently in a hurry one time she made it and didn’t form the dough firmly enough when placing it into the loaf pan, leaving a pocket of air where the dough was folded. This resulted in a hole in each slice of bread, and thus the name. Despite its technical shortfall, it was very tasty bread. In addition to that recipe, we also made a recipe from the book for a potato dough called “Refrigerator Roll Dough.” I still use this recipe from time to time, as I find it very easy to work with and it’s very forgiving with its overnight proof in the refrigerator. After a couple of years of helping her, by the time I was nine or ten, I made the bread myself for Thanksgiving. The following year, I was probably too ambitious for my own good and failed at attempting to make croissants. There were tears and some butter angrily thrown into the trash can when I couldn’t get it to cooperate, but making bread with Mom is otherwise one of my fonder childhood memories. I also helped Mom with making pies, which were sometimes simple with store-bought pie shells, but not always- Mom got pretty serious about pie sometimes. She also made a yearly batch of what she referred to as “killer chili,” which is based around a more traditional “Chile con Carne” and not this ground beef and beans nonsense that gets sold in a can. Mom made chili that took a couple of days and $100, and that’s when $100 was actually worth something.

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