I am David.

The Philistines are upon me.  A great army across the valley taunting and tormenting my peaceful village.  I am afraid.   They are big, they are evil, and they want our peace of mind.  Our happy spirits.  They want to trample us in the mud and take our lives. To leave us as carrion on the valley floor.

Photo by Jianxiang Wu on Unsplash

Oh where is my David?  Where is the sling and the five smooth stones?  I need to triumph over the Philistines coming for me. Coming for us.

Their largest, Goliath, heaps insult upon me.  His very presence is a storm cloud over me and my heart is heavy, my mind churning, and my body trembling.  He can do so much damage to me and mine. 

Deliver me from this Philistine.

Oh, Lord, hear my prayer.

I drop to my knees and see that the daffodils have buds.  The wheel in the sky is turning.  Spring comes.  I feel hope in my chest flutter like an awakening bird. Not the peaceful dove, but the avenging hawk.

There is no David.  There is no sling.  There are no five smooth stones.  There is just me and my travails.  Just me and my scant courage. Oh Lord hear my prayer and give me the strength of the daffodils.

The strength to emerge victorious in frightening conditions.  The strength to outlast adversity.  The strength to blossom in deep snow.  Do not let this be a false spring. 

Bring me the peace of knowing that I am enough.  That I can lead a victorious life.  One that is free of the Philistines that would steal my tranquility and ravage my happy home.

If David can be unafraid and face the threat in the knowledge that he is enough, I can too. 

I am David.

Goliath will not be my nemesis.  I alone can defeat the peril with the sweet spirit of a shepherd protecting what they have been charged to watch over. 

Oh Lord, hear my prayer. Shepherd me through this perilous time.

Hush.

Gabriele Corno Moonlight Shadow

Hush.

Shhhhhhhh.

Just stop. 

The earth and the moon are still.  Be quiet, be at ease but be attentive to the silence.

This is the night you will remember during the moment of your last breath, before your transformation but after your acquiescence. 

What will come is unorthodox, but beautiful.  Holy in its perfection.

Be ye not afraid.

Remember,

This too shall pass.

What made you start cooking? A guest blog by Jeremy Leinen aka Chef Boy ‘R Mine

I’m sure many chefs get asked the question all the time of how they found their way into the kitchen. There are a few of the usual stories that get shared but it’s not always the cookie-cutter story of helping mom or grandma.

For me, it’s half typical and half not. At a pretty young age, I was helping my mom make bread- I think I was six years old. It was the Betty Crocker Cookbook and I recall using a standard white bread. A side story is that this bread got an unlikely nickname as “the bread with the hole in the top.” To explain, my mom was apparently in a hurry one time she made it and didn’t form the dough firmly enough when placing it into the loaf pan, leaving a pocket of air where the dough was folded. This resulted in a hole in each slice of bread, and thus the name. Despite its technical shortfall, it was very tasty bread. In addition to that recipe, we also made a recipe from the book for a potato dough called “Refrigerator Roll Dough.” I still use this recipe from time to time, as I find it very easy to work with and it’s very forgiving with its overnight proof in the refrigerator. After a couple of years of helping her, by the time I was nine or ten, I made the bread myself for Thanksgiving. The following year, I was probably too ambitious for my own good and failed at attempting to make croissants. There were tears and some butter angrily thrown into the trash can when I couldn’t get it to cooperate, but making bread with Mom is otherwise one of my fonder childhood memories. I also helped Mom with making pies, which were sometimes simple with store-bought pie shells, but not always- Mom got pretty serious about pie sometimes. She also made a yearly batch of what she referred to as “killer chili,” which is based around a more traditional “Chile con Carne” and not this ground beef and beans nonsense that gets sold in a can. Mom made chili that took a couple of days and $100, and that’s when $100 was actually worth something.

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Visiting and Revisiting the Ghost of Who I Was

If I were to put on Wind Song perfume, I would remember that once upon a time I was 16 and insecure and made shy by circumstances that changed my life dramatically on my 15th birthday.   The circumstances, really, are not important.  One just needs to know that I was uprooted, again, and moved to a locale where I knew no one and no one knew me.  That was not a new experience, but these new kids were not military brats.  They did not welcome me with open arms.  They were not unkind.  I was simply someone they didn’t know in a tight-knit community at an age where one doesn’t really socialize outside their tribe.

I had no tribe. I was invisible.

I did have the third floor of a brick house as bedroom to myself.  As do teenagers, I spent hours holed up in my attic.  The princess in exile in the tower.

I can slip into the steaming hot water of the claw footed bathtub and wash my hair with Herbal Essence shampoo.  Luxuriating in the warmth and comfort of the water while tears silently slip down my face.  Another lonely day is about to begin at school.  More than a year’s worth now. 

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