Sunday, just before midnight

/ wvfurandroot / 4 Comments

Midnight is close.  I should be in bed.

My life is full of shoulds and a great deal of can’ts.

I will be tired in the morning if I don’t go to bed soon.

Indeed, I’m tired now.

I’m tired now and the glass of cabernet keeps me occupied here. That and the wet nail polish on my toes. And the gentle peace of this room.

It has been a full and productive weekend. I am pleased with myself.

Earlier today, I purchased chrysanthemums and carnations, both white. The scent of the flowers, the hum of the fan, and the lamplight falling across the floor are singing a siren’s song. I have become one with this chair. In truth, I might not be able to move from this spot. It’s a definite truth that I don’t want to.

The night is cool – a blessed relief from the heat and humidity of the past few days. The cat wanders in and out; and there is a moth flitting around. The shamrocks have folded their leaves and are nodding as if asleep.

I should match their repose.

The house has been straightened, the laundry put away, provisions procured.

I have always been fond of Sundays. There was a time when Sundays were lazy, uneventful days – a day of cooking, napping, reading, watching old movies. My weeks are so busy that it is now Saturday that I wallow in, but I do so amidst the chaos resultant from a busy work week. Sundays, I deal with the chaos.

This weekend, I  was a whirlwind – both days.  This time now is my downtime. 

It is nice to wallow.

But it’s so late.

The wine is in a graceful, hand-painted balloon goblet, condensation sliding down the stem to puddle on the end table next to the treasure chest that was my son’s heart’s desire when he was young.

Would that my heart’s desire could be purchased at a discount store for a few dollars. Indeed, I would be pleased to discern my heart’s desire. Dissatisfaction has been a close companion these past few months which may explain why I’m sitting here. My sense of contentment is almost palpable and I don’t want to disturb it.

I have a strong need to luxuriate in this sense of well-being.  This feeling that all is right in the world, but if it’s not, it soon will be.

For this moment, it is my heart’s desire to luxuriate in this contentment. The shoulds will still be there tomorrow and, perhaps, this time of contented thought will transform the cants.

Kreativ Blogger Award

/ wvfurandroot / 4 Comments

The Kreativ Blogger Award was bestowed upon me some weeks ago and I have been remiss in acknowledging it.  Yes, I’m ashamed of myself, but the rules for acceptance are, in part, responsible for the delay.

The rules for accepting the award are:

1. You must thank the person who has given you the award.

Roger, luv? Thank you, thank you. My self-esteem has taken a lot of hits the past few months and recognition of any sort is welcome, but recognition for the one creative outlet I make time for means all the world. It was a good day when you stumbled onto my blog.  Please accept my apologies for the delay in acknowledging it.  In truth, it took me awhile to think of 7 interesting things about me that I was willing to share. 

2. Copy the award logo and place it on your blog.

Woo Hoo! I love a bright, shiny award jpg in the morning.  i think I’ve managed to get it over there –>

3. Link the person who has nominated you for the award.

Roger’s site is a lot of fun – lots of interesting reading there. It’s well worth spending some time at.

4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.

I have known all the words to J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers The Last Kiss since I was 12 years old – decades before Pearl Jam eviscerated it. I was never much of a Pearl Jam fan, but torturing one of my favorite songs didn’t help matters much. When The Ex and I were dating I discovered that he too knew all the words – it was one of the reasons I married him.

I read a lot. When my life is normal, I average two novels a week. I’m not much of a nonfiction fan. Periodically, I skip the well-crafted, well-written, make-me-jealous-of-the-talent novels and dive into a romantic mystery. As far as I’m concerned, this genre peaked in the late 60s, early 70s. Think Susan Howatch’s The Dark Shore or any of Victoria Holt’s stuff.

I love period movies – it doesn’t matter how bad they are as long as the scenery and costuming are luscious. My first one was Barry Lyndon and I was certainly too young (12, again) to be watching it. The latest one I watched was The Madness of King George.

Since the wizened age of 8, I have been entranced with aquariums. My first experience was with two goldfish named Queen Liliuokalani and King Kamehameha in a large bowl. The King died almost immediately and the Queen died of grief shortly thereafter.

Periodically, I set up an aquarium, stock it with fish (usually angels) and kill them in short order. It’s a mystery – I do all the right things and the varmints still die. I vowed that when I retired, I was going to set up a huge saltwater aquarium and raise seahorses. Then I read about keeping seahorses. Sheesh. They’d be dead before I even got them. The amount of fussing they need is way beyond my abilities.

I love going out to lunch. In the interest of financial prudence I don’t do it much these days, but I sure do miss it. Tom Robbins summed it up best:

L-U-N-C-H. Lunch. I’m fond of lunch. I am, in fact, a lunch aficionado. Give me liberty or give me lunch. Breakfast comes around too early in the day, and dinner can interfere with one’s plans for the evening, but lunch is right on the money, the only thing it interrupts is work. . .I require lunch on a daily basis. I’m insured against non-lunch by Blue Cross, Blue Shield, and blue Cheese. Finicky? Not his luncher….I become grumpy when denied my noontide repast.

I have wanted to change my first name since I was 17 or so. In fact, I had planned to do so as soon as I turned 18, but upon further reflection decided it would be insulting to my parents. My name was a compromise: Dad wanted Monique and Mom wanted Consuela. I have never felt like a Connie and while I’ve spent fifty years with the name, I still don’t think it suits me. These days, I’m still pondering whether to take back my maiden name or keep the name I’ve been using for 25+ years. During flights of fancy, I think about changing both first and last names to something. . . um. . . else. I can never come up with anything. I suppose I could become The Woman Formerly Known as Connie.

I like oatmeal. I like oatmeal raw. Just the flakes. In a bowl. I keep oatmeal at the office along with a bowl and a spoon. Often, my lunch (see above) is oatmeal flakes. My cholesterol levels should be in negative numbers. Go figure.

One of my first acts in the morning is to fire up the Yahoo News site and click on the Most Popular tab. Up comes the news articles that have had the most hits, have been recommended to others the most or have been emailed the most often. This is my personal barometer of what people are interested in. Most days it’s depressing. Today for example, one of the most recommended news stories is the startling information that Rush Limbaugh is getting married. (That poor woman.)

5. Nominate 7 other Kreativ Bloggers.

I am so behind in my blog reading and subsequently haven’t discovered any new blogs lately. Every person on my blogroll (links in the sidebar) deserves the award. Every single one of them. They’re there because I think they’re good. So, I hereby award each and everyone of them the Kreativ Blogger Award.

Besides handing the award to all those folks, I’d like to hand the award to those of you who think you might want to blog, but just haven’t taken the plunge. Get at it! It’s a big bunch of fun and the perfect creative outlet – it doesn’t take up space, create a mess, or cost anything. Everything you need to get started is at: http://www.wordpress.com

6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.

If I’ve encouraged anyone to take the plunge, send me your link and I’ll post it.

7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs to let them know they have been nominated.

I haven’t done this yet, but I intend to.