To-Do List

Happy, but not content.

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053It’s Saturday morning and I’m in the study. Lord, this room is a mess.  All the flotsam and jetsam of the past couple of years that I don’t know what to do with has landed in this room. Couple that with the fact that it needs a good cleaning and you have one big mess.  Yet, it’s a comfortable room — dead bugs, cobwebs and heaps of junk, aside.

I haven’t been able to write and to some extent, I still can’t. But I want to and that’s a huge step forward.

I’m oddly happy these days. And bored.  I’m not sure if those two things are related.  There’s more than enough to do which is to say I have no good reason for being bored.  Perhaps, I’m just in a time out.

As usual, I have an ambitious to-do list. With the change of weather has come some ambition after the long lethargy of the spring and summer.  Perhaps, it’s time for me to be done with this time-out.

I think I deserved a season or two of inertia, but I’ve reached the point where I’m tired of being bored. Tired of unfinished projects.  Tired of having my life on hold while I wait for something – a something undefined.  I think I’ve been waiting for now – this time when I’m unaccountably happy.  A time when I could be content if the to-do list wasn’t about to topple over and kill me.

Contentment – what a sweet word and lovely idea. To be content must be the greatest blessing.  The trick, I think, is to be content in the midst of chaos and I’ve yet to learn that skill.  I’ll put it on the to-do list.

Too Big for My Britches

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Soon I'll be rocking the 501s again!

Soon I’ll be rocking the 501s again!

The Atkins Diet and I are having a fight today. So far, it’s winning.  I have what is called The Atkins Flu – headache and malaise being the chief of my symptoms.  It occurs at the beginning of the Induction Phase of the diet – the first two weeks – as carbohydrates are limited to 20 grams or less and the body switches from storing carbs to burning fat.

Yes, I’ve gotten too big for my britches.   The stress of the past few years, plus my love of carbohydrates, has flooded my system with cortisol.  Combine that with menopause and it all becomes an unsightly mess.  More importantly, carrying this extra weight hurts.

After the vacation, I felt serene enough to plunge myself back into low carb dieting. Years ago, things got a bit out of hand and the Atkins Diet straightened it all out in record time.  This, after I’d tried the low fat, counting calories route for some time.  Please.  No criticisms.  This strategy works for my body.  It’s only been a week and I’m already down 6 lbs plus I’ve lost a lot of the bloat that gluten provokes in me.  I know what works for me and this is it.  By the time I reach my goal, my cholesterol and triglycerides will be very good and I will be rocking my favorite pair of jeans.  Just you wait and see!

In the meantime, I have another day or so of feeling crummy. By Sunday or Monday, I should be energetic and ready to take over the world.

Inertia

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It’s been rainy and dreary all day.  I’m loving The Polar Vortex in July.

I did nothing today.   I would say “absolutely nothing” except I installed a new roll of paper towel in the kitchen.

lazyI gave myself permission early on to do nothing today.  Generally, when I do this, I get all sorts of things done.  I’m just perverse that way.

But not today.  I  have been the very definition of a couch potato.  I read a little.  I slept a little.  I stalked folks on Facebook.  I danced with the dog.  I ate comfort food (and didn’t clean the kitchen).  I drank two pots of coffee.  I have been worthless.

I think there’s something to be said for taking a day off now and again.  My life has been such that there’s been no end of things needing to be done for decades.  Periodically, I do sit around and do nothing, but I feel antsy and guilty and jittery about it.  Not today.

Today I wallowed in my inertia.  Savored it.  Provided a background of Mozart and a scented coconut candle to enhance it.  I’m still in my pajamas at a quarter to eight.  I haven’t brushed my hair or made the bed.  I have done nothing save unwrap a roll of paper towel and hang it on the wall.

My body is pulsing with endorphins of goodness.  I am blissfully happy with my no good self.  I hope your Saturday was just as rewarding.

Candles and Mournful Trains

/ wvfurandroot / 2 Comments

010It’s Sunday evening after a 3-day weekend.  I’m so pleased with myself.  I had an agenda for the weekend and I ticked off most of my items.  Since my agendas are usually very ambitious, most is a good thing.  My baby boy is coming home to visit on Tuesday and I’ve been a whirligirl of activity getting ready for him.  Well, no, not really.  But I got a lot done.

My method, this time, was frenetic bursts of activity punctuated by long periods of rest and relaxation.  This puttering method worked out well.  I’m pleased with all that has been accomplished and at peace with what still needs to b e done.

I celebrated myself and my accomplishments by drinking wine and watching candle flames flicker.  Try as I might, I can’t get the camera to capture what I see as I sit on the couch and survey the coffee table/altar.

There’s a train off in the distance that sounds mournful, but which makes me feel snug and safe.  It’s been a good weekend to be me.