Not so little boys

Jake started shouting and pointing, “Hey, Dad! look!”

Jeff got up and went to Jake.  I didn’t look up from my book.  I imagined he found minnows or a crab or something. 

Then Jeff started hollering, “Miranda!  Look up!”

I was nursing an umbrella drink with one shot of vodka and two drinks worth of mixer.  The concoction, lemon and strawberry and frozen, was the perfect beach drink for the perfect beach day.  We were alone on the beach other than some surf fishers off in the distance, their poles set up in a row with them sitting in camp chairs around a cooler.  Occasionally their laughter would ring loud enough that we could hear them.  They were having a fine time.

Jeff was beside me and the Designated Parent for the day.  We took turns.  Our son Jake was playing in the shallow surf, his floaties bright orange against the blue water and blue sky and his blue swimming trunks.  Jake’s blue eyes had been wide with excitement since we arrived.  I vowed to make his first trip to the beach memorable and was succeeding.  Each night he fell asleep at the dinner table and we carried him to the second bedroom of our rented condo.  He would sleep all night and wake me before dawn.  He with a glass of milk and I with my coffee would sit on the balcony and watch the sun come up.  We were making memories that I hoped would sustain him his whole life.  Shared, quality time in paradise.

“I closed my book and looked up.”

“Oh!”  I rubbed my eyes.

I hadn’t even had a full shot of vodka yet and yet, there he was.  Puff.  In all of his majesty, scales gleaming iridescent purple, pink, blue, and green in the bright sun.

Continue reading

Books and Covers and Topsoil and Flat Tires

Fifteen bags of topsoil, 9 cubic feet, each just fit into Monte Carlo’s trunk.  They filled the trunk and I had to make sure they were stacked just so to get the trunk to close completely.  I was on my last trip.  I had done the math earlier in the week and deduced I needed 75 bags of topsoil.

Photo by Christer Ehrling on Unsplash

One trip at a time.  I went to the Lowe’s with an empty trunk, went to Lawn & Garden, stood in line, bought 15 bags, went back to my car, drove to the loading zone, and watched two, weary guys load my trunk.  I didn’t tip them.  In retrospect, I probably should have.

I would then drive home, back the car up to the garden fence, and unload the 15 bags, my bag aching more with each bag.  Each bag weighs 40 lbs.

I was on my last trip.  I stopped at Sonic to celebrate with an ice cream sundae.  I used most of the little bit of cash I had to tip the waitress on roller skates.

I pulled out onto Route 60 which instantly narrowed to two lanes as it approached my town of Ona.  There was nothing on the sides of the road but forest and ravines.  No place to pull over.

I heard and felt the familiar flop flop flop of a tire gone flat. 

I groaned.  And nearly cried.

Continue reading

Quilted

Tennyson wrote, “I am a part of all that I have met.”

Brooke Hampton said, “I am pieces of all the places I have been, and the people I have loved. I’ve been stitched together by song lyrics, book quotes, adventure, late night conversations, moonlight, and the smell of coffee.”

I love these truths because they explain my contradictions.  I’ve had a myriad of experiences in nearly as many places.  I have been blessed to meet a great many people. 

“Mother Earth” by Galla Grotto

And while doing so, I was often wearing jeans – the uniform of my generation.

Continue reading

I’ve Always Wanted to…Skydive

I always wanted to skydive. 

Really.

I had plans to do so with a friend, but dammit all, she had the temerity to get herself killed in a motorcycle accident before we could execute the plan. 

Photo by Mario Gogh on Unsplash

She was quite an inspiration in my life and I was just never able to bring myself to do the skydiving thing without her.  And then in my late 30s, my chiropractor asked me, “Do you ski?” I said No.  And he said, “Good.  Don’t take it up.”  And then I said, “I suppose that means skydiving is out too.” 

The look on his face.  Apparently, he was terrified of flying.  You would have thought I’d suggested he remove a testicle or something.  “Oh, God, no.  No.  No skydiving.”

And so, it’s a want that will forever be unfulfilled and I find myself mourning the loss.  How many other I always wanted tos am I not going to be able to do?

Getting old sucks.

Continue reading