Step 1: Put the incorrigible machine in time-out in a corner. Drink coffee, run amok in the hallways complaining about people who click on stuff they shouldn't be clicking on, take deep breaths, ommmmm for a minute or two, maybe go to lunch or have inconsequential conversations disguised as Terribly Important Communications.
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W. Va. Fur and Root 
Ooo! I WILL use that next time I call the Helpless Desk. I’ll loiter just to see the look on the tech’s face.
You are BRILLIANT is so many ways. (But you outdid yourself on the balls.)
My Warm Fuzzies purr when I’m told I’m brilliant.
Now then, watch it, sister. I’m the help desk, the sys admin, the web master and everything else related to the machines. (Near as I can figure this is because I’m not afraid of the machines.) We geeks bristle at “helpless desk”.
Hilarious!
Actually, this technique does work at times. Once tech support (me) and the computer both calm down, both of us work properly. It’s the oddest thing. A friend of mine told me about this a few years ago. I promptly adopted it into my bag of tricks. Alas, it did no good on this machine, but I was calmer.
I recognize that method of electronic repair 🙂
Indeed you should! It’s a brilliant technique. I think of you fondly every time I use it.
in my experience it really does work shockingly well.
Considering I work at an agency which, among other things, teaches parenting skills – it’s especially amusing to my co-workers.