Pointy Toilet Paper

I’ll finish the furnace story tomorrow, but right now I’m dwelling on the irony of the fact that last night I was home with no heat in the house. Tonight, I have heat at the house, but I’m in a Best Western in Charleston.

That’s how ridiculous my life is. Timing is everything in life and my timing needs work.

But here I am. And I must say I’m impressed. My frugal boss made the reservations and, while I wasn’t expecting Magic Fingers or mold in the bathroom, I also wasn’t expecting a king sized bed covered in pillows and pointy toilet paper.

The job before this job I did a fair amount of traveling. Between that and personal travel, I spent a fair amount of time in hotels and motels. My traveling days ended before the “luxury bed” was all the rage with the cool hoteliers. You know when trends start trickling down to Best Westerns in Charleston, WV, said trend has gotten pretty mainstream.

I rather like this pillow thing. I have a bunch of pillows on the beds at home as well as sinfully high-thread-count sheets and ambient lighting. These things make for a nice drifting-off-to-sleep experience. To find such a set up here is a nice change from floral or striped bedspreads that probably haven’t been cleaned as often as one would hope.

Pointy toilet paper has long puzzled me. Pray tell, what is the point? Some poor soul earns a meager living cleaning rooms and part of his or her job duties is to fold toilet paper. It’s ludicrous. But if such a thing is deemed a necessity and the bathroom has two toilet-paper-holders, shouldn’t the points be the same size and shape? The lack of symmetry here bothers me. This hotel loses 5 Martha Stewart points for this egregious act. I bet the maid did it on purpose. I would.

[Mmmmm. I just put on my nightgown and crawled into bed. The linens aren’t as wonderful as one would hope – but nice nonetheless; and the experience is so much better than last night’s shivering under a down which just couldn’t keep up with the cold. No down on this bed. Pity that.]

Of course, the coffee pot falls short of my requirements. With the trek down the hill carrying luggage, the travel pot had to stay at home. I’m offended by the Styrofoam cup. I’ve got pillows, pointy toilet paper, high-end soap with an ergonomic design, but a Styrofoam cup. Go figure. If I can’t have a real cup, can’t we do better than flimsy Styrofoam? It’s a travesty, I tell you. More Martha points lost.

There’s no room service, but the clerk says hot breakfast is served in the morning. I believe I’ll partake.

So, if this post reads oddly it’s because the double u key and the snake shaped keys won’t work.  I’ve had to manipulate spell check and control v to type this. 

Never a dull moment. Timing is everything in life. And now I must go to sleep. Big day tomorrow.

Bad cup or not, I’d like to vacation here for about a double-u-eek.  I really like the bed.  I do, I do.

5 thoughts on “Pointy Toilet Paper

  1. I used to teach English as a Second Language, and one of my “Worksite Literacy” classes was working with Haitian housekeepers at a large hotel chain. They told me they had to fold the toilet paper into points to “prove” they had been in the room. Otherwise guest complained that since they didn’t see them, they hadn’t been there.

    When I first started, if something was wrong with the room (a broken lamp, for example) the housekeeper went to the office, took a form with a sketch of the room, and circled the lamp so the office would send someone to fix it. When I left, they could pick up the phone and say: “Room 227, toilet is broken, come fast!” Of all the jobs I have had, that was the most satisfying….. I could really see that I was making a difference!

    • Good for you. I worked for 8 weeks in The Empty Arms Hotel (a complete fiasco and nightmare) – I have a huge respect for the rank & file employees of hotels. You can’t believe – well you might – the complete lunacy that goes on. . .with management. The guests are good for a couple hundred stories too.

      As for pointy toilet paper proving the maid’s been in the bathroom – well, if a body needs artfully folded toilet paper to tell if the bathroom’s been cleaned, I think we’re in big trouble as a human race.

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